here’s some additional ammo in case there’s an unfortunate next time:

“dude, i do. frequently, since, unlike guys like you, i know how to do it right.”

“oh, i fuck myself all the time. thanks to modern technology, you’re not even necessary anymore.”

“why thank you, i think i will! i’m quite the fuck, too bad you’ll never know.”

“go fuck myself? sure, no problem. Guaranteed orgasms right there.”

“Go fuck myself? Absolutely. This way I can be sure it will last longer than five minutes.”

shit girl, I could go on for DAAAAAYZ, but they don’t call me the comeback queen for nuttin’, lol…