here’s some additional ammo in case there’s an unfortunate next time:

“dude, i do. frequently, since, unlike guys like you, i know how to do it right.”

“oh, i fuck myself all the time. thanks to modern technology, you’re not even necessary anymore.”

“why thank you, i think i will! i’m quite the fuck, too bad you’ll never know.”

“go fuck myself? sure, no problem. Guaranteed orgasms right there.”

“Go fuck myself? Absolutely. This way I can be sure it will last longer than five minutes.”

shit girl, I could go on for DAAAAAYZ, but they don’t call me the comeback queen for nuttin’, lol…

Compulsive storyteller. Ada Comstock Scholar at Smith College.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store