What Facebook Reels sound like

dori mondon
4 min readAug 14, 2022

There are no filters in that realm.

Photo by Merakist on Unsplash

Facebook, that social media platform of the elderly, is a grand mess, we all knew that already. But I am old (enough), and I also have the grandchild, so Facebook is my main “connect with an audience of people I actually know” platform. Plus, there are a lot of dogs on Facebook. I like dogs.

That being said, I’ve laughed incredibly hard at some of the random Reels that make it into my world (most of which, thanks to what I assume is an algorithm, are about dogs), but I’ve also noticed that, even though most of them are Tiktok or Instagram reposts, Facebook is where the most vicious and ridiculous responses come to rest. The majority of us would never respond to our own friends the way we respond to total strangers on Facebook Reels. It’s where snipe and snark come together to make a soup that’s both predictable and hard to swallow sometimes.

U-Pick Comments Section

I’m a pattern-noticer, though this has been only a casually-recorded observation, one that was only meant to serve the thinking process.

That being said, according to my last three weeks’ randomly-timed and randomly-performed, half-assed research, the average Facebook Reel comment section entails at least six of the following characters, although the longer the Reel circulates, the more are guaranteed to join. You will recognize each one of them by their unique calls:

Spacecadet: “Can someone explain this to me?”

Same-girl-same: “Ask me how I know.”

Someone’s-grandma: “Can someone explain this to me?”

Sidenote: “That hair, tho!”

Came-here-to-say-this: “I know, right??!?!? LMFAO!”

Karen: “Actually, that’s now how you do that. You have to do it the way I do it or I will call the police.”

Karen 2: “I have a right to harm anyone I see fit!”

Dog person: “That’s aboos! Gib him the tri-tip, it’s his pawty!”

Dog person 2: “Lemme BOOP that snoot!”

Incel: “And she expects men to respect her when she posts stuff like this…”

dori mondon

Compulsive storyteller. Typo fixer. Queerdo. Dog and kid mom. Digital DJ nerd. Ada Comstock scholar. I love coffee. A lot. https://ko-fi.com/djemme